This past weekend we were all reminded of an event that shifted our history when the towers and buildings were hit on 9/11. We honor those who served as heroes and remember the families that lost loved ones. I recall coming to Madison Square Garden playing with a burdened heart for those who have lost loved ones. I recall various moments before games that season meeting children who were left fatherless. The harsh reality of so many being left fatherless NOT by a parent’s choice, but rather by the result of this tragic event, left me with a very sore spot when I think of other families who are fatherless BY choice.

In 2009, there were over 24 million children growing up without their fathers – and when we lose fathers we are losing families.
Family is at the core of society. How do we even define family anymore? It should account for the model of culture. Healthy families and values trend toward healthy societies. When we experience the breakdown of family, we run into complications that are difficult to overcome.
High school dropout rates, teenage suicides, teenage pregnancies, drug abuse, depression are all magnified by father absence.
I believe that our fathers and men should begin to measure our role in these statistics. A father can live with, or by his family and still be absent.

A father's core and identity is to provide for and protect his family. As men, our jobs are to first provide good examples for our sons, daughters, and children under our influence. Our kids need to see these examples. I understand that jobs are scarce and this poses huge challenges for dads and families, but there's still dignity that has to be modeled.
We are experiencing the breakdown of family because the overwhelming majority of our young men aren't equipped to be fathers. The dilemma is not that they lack the physical capability. The challenge is that they lack strong vision for their lives. Where there is vision, there is a need to prepare to execute the fulfillment of that vision.  As we demand excellent education for our children and from our children, the path they choose becomes narrower. This is what they want.
We not only have to equip them with a vision for their lives but we have to train them spiritually. We have to help them make choices according to who and what God chose them to be. Failing to do this is like a coach sending his or her player on the court or field without a game plan and no practice. In 18 years of pro basketball, the success I've witnessed was due to talent and preparation. Coach Herman Edwards said talent is God-Given. The preparation is on the individual. Jack Nickalus attributed his success to preparation.  In these times, I believe as fathers and mentors we need to extend ourselves further in preparing our kids for life. As a coach's son I learned early the value of training, preparation, and 'knowing the game'. If we are adamant on training our kids to know how God is leading them, then their vision will be clear, and their decisions will be wiser.
This concept led my father and I to name one of the initiatives of the Allan Houston Legacy Foundation, “Father Knows Best”. For the millions of children who don't have their biological fathers with them, there is still a Father in Heaven, and hopefully a positive father figure in their community, who can be there for guidance.

We have been blessed for 8 years to invite fathers and mentors to participate with their sons, daughters, and mentees in an intense series of basketball drills and competitions, along with workshops and curriculums, that provide powerful bonding and family building experiences. We have been told that it is a life changing experience for many.
This past Labor Day weekend, we partnered with the Tom Joyner Family Reunion in Orlando, Florida. Highlights included:
-seeing children have a great time playing basketball with their dads and mentors.
-a wounded warrior who served and lost his leg during service and competed in the 3pt shootout with his 11 yr old daughter, and took home the crown. An unforgettable scene.
-Otis Smith, the GM of the Orlando Magic drove home the importance of showing tireless work ethic and NEVER allowing yourself to be too tired to parent your children
-Tom Joyner sharing his heart on his working relationship with his son; and how meaningful it is to work with family in keeping his legacy going.
- Seeing my father, who (Praise God) just beat prostate cancer, see his 10 yr old grandson speak in front of hundreds of people about family taking care of each other.

Every man wants to leave a strong legacy. That legacy depends on the daily commitment we make. The commitment we must take now is to challenge our young men to be better fathers, husbands, and leaders than we were. This is one reason I am thankful for being able to stay in management in the NBA, specifically the NY Knicks. Our guys know the impact they have on generations to come and are ready to take the responsibility of being examples.

The reality is we are in a fight. We are in a fight for the future of our families. The book of Nehemiah tells one of the most inspirational stories in history of the man  who led the building of the wall of Jerusalem to protect his people. He reminded the workers of their calling, to ‘Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your sons and daughters, your wives, your friends, and families’ (Nehemiah 4:14), in order to see growth in values and responsibility, and true success, we must set a high standard for family. I believe this starts with fathers.
10 years ago America was attacked. Our forefathers prepared us for not only withstanding such an attack, but overcoming it to the point where it defined our character. Americans of all backgrounds and classes came together and became one. Now our fathers and mentors must do the same to protect the future of children and families. We have a lot of work to do.

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